Has anyone ever broken with someone because your acne?
I know that I, personally, going through a pretty rough breakout now. My face is not that bad in awhile. I would consider myself to have moderate acne at this time. I have a dermatologist appt. on Monday so Im not too worried, but it feels like my relationship with my friend is suffering because of it.
When I have a bad breakout, I would not see anyone. I want to be alone and I complain about my face all the time. Im generally in a Pissy mood. As a result I do not want to see my friend at this time. But he does not understand this. Now we have going for about 6 months. He has seen me without makeup prior to his request if I had a bad breakout. He confessed to me that he did not think it was as bad as it was because I always wore makeup. But he tells me that I always beautiful and that the acne does not make me ugly. While I think it does. I can go to bed with all my stuff on acne mocking him and he will not care. He still thinks that I am beautiful. But I on the other side to act hateful and utterly frustrated. He has incredibly perfect skin and after seeing me without makeup, he felt bad that he complained about the bump he would get one and vowed never to do. He hates it when I act differently if I have a bad breakout, and says I should not care because he does not care and loves me regardless. But I can not seem to get along acne.
Anybody else experienced the same?
Reply:Well, what I guess I was trying to say was that I wasn't going to knowingly breakup with my boyfriend over this, but that it would gradually happen just because of my moods and my despondence towards him.
I think like someone said before, I just need to tell him that I need space at this time. He won't take it very well because he doesn't see this as something I need space from HIM with, but he'll have to. Because I don't have another choice.
I just wish work would understand as well :p
Reply:i am like most of the people here, when i am having a bad skin day, week, or month, i am a jerk. heck i am having a bad skin year now. so this is costing me friendships i might not get back, i know this -still i cannot make myself go out and face it anyway, its hard enough to do the things i must do to survive such as grocery shop. i have been looking for a job, i am in a job club and we did a practice interview and they said i really need to have better eye contact and get my hair outta my face, they don't understand why i do this. i find myself not being friendly, i am a friendly person but feel i can't be myself now. i really admire the people who don't let this get them down, i don't know how severe your acne is, but anyway i wish i could be as positive as that. i feel like i am being such a selfish whiney brat. i am mostly healthy other than the acne. but i am getting older i am scared when this finally goes away (which it might not) i will be dealing with wrinkles sheesh, i will not grow outta the acne cuz i am an adult. i am on accutane for a month now but am so scared it won't work or will only work for a short while. it has not helped at all in any aspect yet. i am not dry AT ALL. this is suposed to be the last resort, if it doesn't help, then what? i think about this all the time. i just want to be myself and stop hiding, but its like i am completely obsessed with my skin. seriously, even before i ever had acne i would freak if i got one pimple, now i feel so foolish….whew, i feel better now. thanks for listening
Reply:I disagree with you, Steffers. I think acne definitely DOES have a stigma attached to it. Whreas if you had a cut, birthmark or scrape on your face, I think that is an acceptable 'deformity', but acne is looked at as being dirty. Read through the thread on the negative comments people make about acne and you'll see what I'm talking about!
Reply:I understand how having something physically wrong with you can make you feel like you're not attractive. But think of it this way……acne is VERY common, people see it all the time…while some people might "make fun" of acne, it doesn't have the stigma attatched to it of say, having one leg or being in a wheelchair…in other words, I guess I'm saying everyone has something wrong with them, and when you put acne in perspective of other visible problems, people with it are generally more accepted because hey, who hasn't had a zit in their life? The fact that you have boyfriends who care about you so much shows this….you guys' problem isn't others judging you or not wanting to be around you because of acne, it's self-confidence…
Hmmm OK I dunno if this will even help anyone, but on a bad day just try to remember that "things could always be worse," and acne isn't permanent! 
Reply:Yeah Diva I know how you feel. Im having the worst breakoutever! I dont want to be around anyone when I have a really bad breakout. When I talk to people I cant look at them in the eye. When my bf and I are together I dont want him touching my face or looking at me. Recently I was thinking about taking a break with him until I can find something to cure this stupid acne.
Reply:Well said guy!
My boyfriend, like both of yours, says the same kind of supportive things and still thinks I am beautiful and I know he loves me regardless. However, I am like you Diva in the sense that when I'm having a "bad skin day" I take it out on him and I just can't help it. I want to be ALONE, I want to MOPE, and I don't feel like anyone coming near me, especially my face. I hate when I don't have makeup on and he wants to get kissy with me…it makes me just fly off the handle because I am so overly insecure. I always feel badly afterwards, but I just don't know how to get over it.
I know I am lucky to have a boyfriend that is supportive and loves me regardless and I know I need to be a little more appreciative, but it is so hard.
I know what you are going through, but I would probably say don't get rid of him!! I don't know personally what your relationship is like on all levels, but from what you describe, it sounds like he will be there for you through thick and thin and wants to make a genuine effort to support and care for you through trying times, and that is a VERY important quality in a man if you ask me!! He sounds like a keeper. Just explain to him why you may act distant sometimes, and explain to him your need right now to have some alone time now and then. I am sure he will understand. Good luck 
Reply:My boyfriend is very supportive, and he says a lot of the same things your boyfriend does.
I think if you love him and he makes you happy, it would be a real shame to break up with him. He can be a great support system for you while your dealing with the agony that is acne.
But only if you truly want to be with him. Sometimes we find reasons to leave someone to mask the real reasons because we don't want to hurt them.
If you really want to be with him and it is your feelings about yourself that is hurting your relationship, than you really do need to try and start being more positive. Easier said than done, I know. Believe me.
How does you boyfriend feel about your relationship?
Do you have friends that you can talk to about your feelings?
You have us!
It makes me sad when I think about how those of us with acne push people away because we are so hurt by our own apperances. Most people don't think we look nearly as bad as we think we do, and some people honestly don't even notice!
It takes time to feel comfortable in your own skin, but once you realize that the major majority of people notice personality and general appearance over the quality of someones skin, life gets a lot easier.
I know we all have our bad days, but I say try not to alienate the people who love you.
That's my two (ten?) cents
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- Accutane recipe – anyone else going through this [accutane] [appt]
- Accutane recipe – anyone else going through this [accutane] [appt]
- People touching your face [moderate acne] [forehead]
August 18th, 2010 
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